This is a humorous and sarcastic blog written by a paralegal in a mid-sized law firm in a mid-tier market. The goal is to share some of the pitfalls and foibles encountered in my own day-to-day experiences. Feel free to contact me at aparalegalslife@gmail.com with comments. Complaints, not so much :)

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Travel for Work

This is one of the (extremely) rare occasions when the firm has deigned to actually send me somewhere to do something.  Not to some exotic or sinful destination, but alas to one of America's industrial underbelly hellholes.  This place is so badly polluted we aren't allowed to drink the tapwater.  I'm afraid to shower in it, honestly, for fear of being turned into The Toxic Avenger.

Anywho, since I'm being kept up by a couple of drunk attorneys in the next room suffering a bout of insomnia , now seemed like a good time to reflect on the topic of work travel. 

If you have your own laptop, bring it.  Even if the firm decides to give you one for the trip, odds are it will be a TRS-80 bottom-of-the barrel model and not up to snuff.

Under no circumstances should a paralegal try to go out drinking with the lawyers.  For one thing, you can't keep up.  Lawyers are professional drinkers.  If you do go out with them, DON'T DRINK.  Stay sober, and collect the blackmail material.  Preferably photographic.  Plus, getting them back to their rooms means better odds you won't be late for whatever is needed the following morning.  Feel free to drink on your own time, but not with them. 

Always bring one extra set of dress clothes (suit, whatever).  Nothing's worse than something being extended and you wind up wearing the same thing again sans dry cleaning.  Having an extra means at least one day to get everything else to a 24-hour dry cleaner.

Scope out the main roads and get directions to and from all of your destinations.  Especially if the destination is unfamiliar to you or anyone travelling with you.  Lawyers aren't known for that kind of advanced planning, which is why they hire us. 

Better yet, if a car is being rented, offer to drive once you get there.  I haven't met a lawyer yet who wasn't a terrible driver, or would refuse an offer to be chauferred. 

If you are working with co-counsel, get acquainted with your counterparts there first.  It never hurts to butter them up and get a sense of what to expect. 

Perhaps when my present trip to Superfundville is over, I'll have a few more tips to share.


Lynne DeVenny said...

Can't win drinking contest with lawyers. Check. Take a smart phone with a camera and do not let battery die. Check. Drive getaway car myself. Check. Plot getaway route in advance. Check.

You made me laugh, which I sorely needed today.

Grumpy Humbug said...

Good job reading between the lines ;)

Paralegal said...

You know, I am in such misery at the Death Star that I wish I was with you in Superfundville. Think of all the fun (trouble) we would get in to. Oh the endless fun!!!

Paralegal Hell