Unemployed and Ostracized

For about a week, unemployment was fun.  Then I got bored enough to start working on things around the house, like painting the living room on week 2.  By the start of week 3, I was reaching the stage of reorganizing my CD collection and pruning every blasted plant/tree/shrub/bush on my property. 

Within the first week, I had several interviews with a number of firms.  Most of them admired my depth and variety of experience, and were impressed by my professional knowledge and demeanor.  Then the inevitable “can we contact your prior employers?”  Which means The UnManager, who I found out through a sympathetic recruiter was soundly bashing me as the worst employee in history to anyone who will listen. 

So now, it appears that after close to 2 decades in this field, my career options are pretty much zero.  All because one person just can’t get over the fact that I proved her plum job was a result of being politically connected instead of competent. 

It appears relocating might be my only option.  Any suggestions as to what geographic areas are looking for experienced litigation paralegals?  I’ll take anything but New York City.  No offense, but visiting is enough.  I just couldn’t stand to live there.

How I Got Screwed By Biglaw

OK, guess I’ve made you wait long enough.  Some days ago, I was quietly sitting at my computer doing work when an e-mail pinged up from the UnManager (hereinafter "UM").  “Please meet me in conference room X.”  Seeing no sense of urgency attached to the missive, I finished what I was doing and joined her about 20 minutes later.  Or, should I say, her and some stranger in a suit I’ve never seen before. 

That’s never a good sign.  What could have gone wrong now?  I suspect my prior post might have let Stupid the Cat out of that bag...

Teaser - I WAS FRAMED!!!

More details will come this weekend when I have had enough time to fully digest the stupidity.  Short version, UnManager somehow got me fired despite having no valid reason.  Fortunately I saw it coming and... well... that's a longer story.

Teaser:  within 3 hours the associates arranged to meet me for lunch next week.  All of them.

Yes, this will be a multi-post, juicy, fun-for-the-whole-family epic.  Once I find a way to get past the concurrent joy/pain of being fired.

Any studios interested in buying movie rights, I'm open to offers with the right screenwriter.  Guaranteed to make more money than Gigli.  Maybe.

No, Not Dead (yet)

For those who have inquired, I am not dead, have not abandoned blogging and am not the victim of alien abduction.  (Sadly that last one is a real inquiry.  I weep for the human race.)  My world was turned upside-down this week, and before that I was overwhelmed with 120-hour weeks for nearly a month.  Which meant I was more interested in sleep than any other activity, even blogging.  More soon, I promise.

When it rains...

After some soul-searching, and a brief refresher of my resume, I began the onerous task of looking for a new job.  It's become apparent that continuing exposure to the UnManager is hazardous to my health.  After just over a week, I've already had 3 interviews.  Two more firms have called to say that they would love to hire me based on my experience alone, but don't have any positions available. 

No offers as of yet, though.  One thing I have learned from this experience is not to jump at the first offer.  While nearly anything else would be an improvement over working with UM, there is something to be said for the devil you know. 

Just a few quick lines

So far, so good since my health scare.  I'm back at the office now, but doing my best to avoid human interaction when possible.  That seems to be helping.  The attorneys are actually quite understanding, although UnManager seems to think it's a character flaw that I needed some time off after a serious health incident involving a stay in the hospital.  That's how far removed from reality UM truly is.

Needless to say, I've been job hunting, although pickings are pretty slim these days.  There are a few nibbles here and there, but nothing really worth pursuing to be honest.

Gonna be a long year, I think. 

Not dead... yet...

OK, so here's what's up:  Apparently I have severe high blood pressure, exacerbated (probably caused) by the high stress of my job, which resulted in some sort of mild heart-related thing I don't really understand and a super-not-fun stay at the hospital.  I'm home now, and after some forced bed rest am finally allowed to have access to my laptop. 

Looks like I'm in the market for a different job in a lower-stress industry.  Being a Paralegal is now *officially* killing me. 

Fun way to start the new year, huh?