This is a humorous and sarcastic blog written by a paralegal in a mid-sized law firm in a mid-tier market. The goal is to share some of the pitfalls and foibles encountered in my own day-to-day experiences. Feel free to contact me at aparalegalslife@gmail.com with comments. Complaints, not so much :)

Friday, July 27, 2012

Friday Round-Up (Keep Them Doggies Rollin'...)

So many little things happened to me this week, none deserving their own post yet worthy of my trademark snarkasm.  Here's a short round-up of my week (so far)...

I almost ran over people 3 different times this week at the exact same spot.  There's a parking garage I drive past every morning, and people walk out of the garage and stand IN THE RIGHT LANE OF THE STREET waiting for cars to go past.  I need to use that lane to make an immediate right turn just past that spot.  I honk.  They look at me like I'm crazy or something.  Summary:  I'm in a car, you are in the street and it's not a crosswalk.  Get off the fucking street and back on the God Damn sidewalk!

People in my office keep showing up later and later.  15 minutes after opening time this morning I was still the only person in the office.  I'm trying to go to the bathroom for my morning constitutional, but keep getting interrupted by delivery people.  3 of them in rapid succession.  Then FedEx.  Christ on a cracker, where the hell is everyone, especially the receiptionist or the Un-Manager?  All I want to do is go poop already.  Is that asking too much?  Why am I the only one showing up on time anymore?

Stop sending e-mails that don't identify the matter it is in regards to.  E-mail has a "subject" line just for that purpose.  Law School graduates should damn well know the definition of the word "subject", not to mention have the ability to quickly mention what case they are working on.  3 seconds of work, people.  You may only be handling one or two matters, but I'm handling upwards of 50.  Asking me in a blank-subject e-mail "could you send me that brief from the other day" will only get an annoyed response from me saying "which case, which brief?" because the odds are good that I've seen upwards of 20 recently in almost as many matters.  The situation becomes more complicated when working with our other offices, who frequently dump new Associates I've never encountered into a case without bothering to inform the rest of us working on said case.  I do my best to keep track of who works on what, but in a firm of several thousand people it's a challenge to say the least.  So put the God Damned case in the God Damned subject line.  Always. 

Re: the above, "hey" is not an appropriate subject line.  Ever.  Especially in a professional environment. 

The Un-Manager keeps surprising me with new heights of hypocrisy and self-delusion.  I've seen UM make a statement, contradict said statement and then deny doing so in the span of less than 5 minutes, when the same 3 people were in the conversation the entire time.  That's bordering on mental illness territory.


Lynne DeVenny said...

Hey :P

Those delivery guys are so inconsiderate.

Summer is the toughest time in a small law firm, so many vacays, so many peeps dragging in a bit late and/or leaving early. Sometimes we'll find ourselves with a staff of 3. Or 2. Or 1. Hate it when I'm the 1 :(

JJ said...

and that why I'm working 12+ hrs day...