So, an update. Still working at the same terrible job, only things are getting progressively worse, which I didn't think possible until the end of last year. I've been unable to land so much as an interview despite applying for nearly 200 positions in 4 states over roughly 10 months, despite well over a decade of experience. I'm well below despair, and have reached the conclusion that my career will never improve from the utter shit it is now mired in. I have simply given up. I have no hope of finding another job. I despise the job I have and everything about it, but the fact is that I cannot afford to switch careers and take a huge pay cut due to commitments made before things went to the lowest hell there is.
This career has cost me 2 marriages, helped me become an alcoholic, and has most recently begun to have seriously negative effects on my health. But there's nothing I can do to change this situation. I can't find any other job without risking financial ruin. I wake up every morning dreading the day to come, and leave the office angry about 95% of the time when my day finally ends. Inevitably, this job is going to kill me. And there's not a damned thing I can do about it.
Your results may vary.
5 comments:
Hang in there, Grumpy. I know just what you are saying and feeling about the dungeon you are currently occupying. When you least expect it, a reprieve will be had. Just know that we are out here rooting (and praying if that's your bag) for you.
Grumpy,
I have been checking in monthly and am glad you decided to reach out. I have no advice, just a virtual hug if you would like one.
Well this is exactly what I needed to read before I went to class to study how to become a paralegal...
*wink*
You'll come through this, Grump. I know that you will.
Remember, the only way out is through.
I feel for you. I've been where you are. I ended up leaving the field. Not without consequences, but my health has improved tremendously. I still have my marriage, too. What can I say? What concerns me most about your post was the comment that you have become an alcoholic. Maybe AA would help? People and support to transition out of a miserable career and into health and sobriety? Good luck to you. You are in my thoughts.
I am so sorry for what you're going through. I recently retired from my job after 20 years; the last 5 were really unbearable. I've never been so happy! I am making about $50,000 less than I was, but I don't need much. It's not about the money anymore, it's about being happy. If you haven't already left that hell hole, please do so know for the sake of your health. Hugs!
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