Sigh. Another week in BigLaw as a Paralegal.

OK, let me go back a little and paint the picture. Born. School. College. Crap job. Married young. Miserable. Divorced. Lonely. Court job. Then paralegal job. Found the love of my life (I hope). Got better job at BigLaw firm.

OK, that's where we are now. In full disclosure, I like the firm I work with now. Nice people, decent hours requirements. But the job... "it is what it is" as our ops manager is wont to say.

Today:  Get to work, only 24 e-mails, light morning I hope. Sift through them and prioritize my day, anticipating said priorities will last about 24 seconds.

I was optimistic. 12 seconds into my day a crisis erupts. Not a typical crisis, though, just covering for another paralegal who is on vacation. Crisis solved quickly, since that was my "old" job and I know how to put those fires out in my sleep.

Back to my original plan. One new mass tort complaint, 2 Answers, half-dozen discovery problems and baby-sitting a needy expert witness later, I realize it's lunchtime. Go across the street and grab a couple hot dogs with melty faux-cheese. (Tip: Even if it's just to walk across the street, always leave the office at lunchtime. Even that small break has a huge psychological value.)

Afternoon, 4 hours left. Gird my loins for the Friday Rush of attorney crises. Something about Friday Afternoon makes them think everything has to be done immediately, even if the deadline isn't until the middle of next week. Fleeting thought that it must be a class in law school.

Crisis 1: Enviro complaint against a steel mill. Supposedly finalized. Knowing better, I hold off. Proven right, shortly thereafter the attorney has a revision. Sigh. I see where this is going.

Crisis 2: Service of process in a minor debt case goes awry. Attorney has a coniption. Somehow I have to solve the problem of a Registered Agent with an address that doesn't actually exist. WTF?

Crisis 1-A: Enviro complaint revision 2. Exhibits added that I've never heard of. Yay.

Crisis 3: Attorney flips out because their objection isn't listed on the hearing agenda that opposing counsel drafted. Somehow becomes my problem, even though the objection was filed timely and properly served on said opposing counsel. I forward the filing receipt and promptly ignore everything about this problem subsequent to that.

Crisis 1-B: Enviro complaint revision 3. Exhibit added previously that I couldn't find is now removed. Have to change everything back. Should have known better and put the job off...

Crisis 4: Something to do with an answer to a complaint. Honestly, I just kinda blanked out and went on autopilot.

Crisis 1-C: Enviro complaint co-counsel from the other coast suddenly decides to let us know he's moving to another firm in a couple of weeks. Our problem, we have to list him as co-counsel, but which firm to we list? Current one? Future one? Leave him off and add later? Much consternation and a couple more revisons later, we decide on a course of action. I get authorization from our Associate, and seizing the opportunity rush into electronic filing to get the complaint submitted to the Court. Giving this associate any more time is inviting a late night, and this is a Friday.

Somehow, I make it out at 5. Stop at the Bar-B-Q stand, girl sees me walk in and says "half rack?". I nod. 

Another glamorous day in the life...