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This is a humorous and sarcastic blog written by a paralegal in a mid-sized law firm in a mid-tier market. The goal is to share some of the pitfalls and foibles encountered in my own day-to-day experiences. Feel free to contact me at aparalegalslife@gmail.com with comments. Complaints, not so much :)

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Stupid Questions I Get Every Day From Attorneys

Are you handling case X?  No, I've just done all the work for you to date. 

Can you bring me a copy of brief Y?  Sure, I'll just put it on top of the stack of 4 other copies of the exact same brief that are sitting on your desk from every other time you asked for it this week.

Can you call the Court and ask where my order is?  Of course!  I have nothing better to do this afternoon than piss off Court employees with pointless questions they can't answer because it's sitting on a Judge's desk waiting for him to come back from vacation.  It's not like they didn't tell me this the last 3 times you asked me to call them.

Do you mind staying several hours late tonight to file something?  Yes.  I will anyway, because I'd rather stay employed.  Honestly, it would be less insulting to just tell me I have to stay late than ask.

Where is document Z being kept?  IN THE DAMN FILE!!!  Try looking since it's in YOUR OFFICE!!! 

9 comments:

Nikki Campos said...

LMAO!! Don't you wonder how some even made it through law school--especially without a paralegal to help them through it ;)

Grumpy Humbug said...

I think you just hit on a whole new area of work for paralegals. Helping them get through law school!

The Namby Pamby said...

Priceless. Sounds like my partner to me.

Grumpy Humbug said...

Namby - Are you sure we don't work at the same firm? Or is it that all firms are exactly the same?

Paralegal said...

My favorite...
With the file in their hands, "Did you do the revisions of the final draft of the Judgment?"
Well- do you see any red marks or revisions on the one you are looking at jackass? Then, yes, I did the revisions.

Paralegal Hell

Momalegal said...

OMG, can't tell you how many times I'm heard the same things!! One of my all time favorites: Atty:"Did you get my email about x?" Me: "Yes, and I replied to that email." Atty: "Oh? What did you say?" How about you just read your damn email?

Grumpy Humbug said...

E-mail is a whole different post. It's unfair to lump that in with anything else.

Amanda @ Tall Glass of Water said...

Ah, yes. The call the court one is my most hated. Or call opposing counsel and check on the status of that signature page we sent today. You're an attorney, you know that you don't even look at the paper until the 3rd day its been sitting on your desk. Neither does she!

theparalegal said...

Hahahaha Seriously, I think we've all been asked these same questions. I'm starting to think that there is a class in law school that teaches them all how to annoy paralegals and legal secretaries. Thank you for the laughter.