This is a humorous and sarcastic blog written by a paralegal in a mid-sized law firm in a mid-tier market. The goal is to share some of the pitfalls and foibles encountered in my own day-to-day experiences. Feel free to contact me at aparalegalslife@gmail.com with comments. Complaints, not so much :)

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

10 things I think this week

1.  Folks from the Deep South are very, very nice.  Don't let the thick accent and slow speaking manner fool you, though, they are also very, very smart. 

2.  Clients who don't let me use the word "file" in their timeslips really, really need a visit from the Clue-by-4. 

3.  Internet Filters in the workplace are useless in the age of the Smart Phone. 

4.  Just Say No to pro bono family law cases.  No good will come from the experience.

5.  There's a fine line between common courtesy and blatant sarcasm.  Some people need to learn where that line is.

6.  I do not follow college basketball.  Do not ask me who's in my bracket.  Brackets hold up shelves or surround supplemental text in a written document.  (March is a very long month in my office.)

7.  How the hell can you have a job in the legal industry and NOT know the freakin' ALPHABET???  (Seriously???  How???  I have money riding on the answer to that question.)

8.  "I read/saw/found it on the internet" is never an acceptable phrase to utter during a deposition or trial.  Ever.

9.  Judges collude with each other to pick a day for all your deadlines to fall on simultaneously.  Just because they can. 

10.  Lexis is the worst research tool in existence. 


Anonymous said...

My clients hate the "file" word too. But hey your "file" takes up two bankers boxes buddy!

Elizabeth said...

haha I love this! First of all #4 - YES! AWFUL. Working in a family law firm I couldn't agree more!

#7 - we had to fire a filing clerk who not only couldn't alphabetize my files.... but didn't know the numbers that corresponded with the proper month (ie 1=January, 2=February). I actually had to create a cheat sheet for him! I mean, I'm all for equal opportunity, but COME ON!

#9 It's a conspiracy I tell you!

Thanks for the laughs. Love this :)

Lynne DeVenny said...

We Southerners are really nice even though it may take us slightly longer to express ourselves. Also, nobody makes better ice tay than we do ;P

Purple Paralegal said...

I love number 1 since I'm from the south and I totally agree with number 4.

Good list!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for giving us Southerners our due. :) We can also tell somebody to piss off but still be really sweet and smile. Amen to #8. And anybody who relies/testifies about something they got from Wikipedia.

redgirl said...

Kudos on number 6!

"Brackets hold up shelves or surround supplemental text in a written document"

I can't wait to throw *that* perfect phrase at the next person who asks.

Grumpy Humbug said...

Actually dropped it in the lunchroom yesterday, got several strange looks.