This is a humorous and sarcastic blog written by a paralegal in a mid-sized law firm in a mid-tier market. The goal is to share some of the pitfalls and foibles encountered in my own day-to-day experiences. Feel free to contact me at aparalegalslife@gmail.com with comments. Complaints, not so much :)

Friday, March 18, 2011


My prior boss, Asshat, probably wasn’t the worst employer in the USA, but makes it into the top 10.  Asshat is passive-aggressive, hypocritical, dishonest, thoughtless and cruel.  When your ex-employees have formed their own support group, something’s wrong. 
One year, we were told that since clients weren’t paying their bills, the money wasn’t available for bonuses.  The next day, Asshat drives up in a shiny new Escalade.  The only reason we didn’t slash his tires was because it was parked in front of his office window.
Asshat never had any written policies, mostly so that he could do whatever he wanted and we couldn’t do anything about it.  Everyone was constantly accused of violating “firm policy” even though noone knew what “firm policy” was. 
Even though the firm was established in the 70’s, average term of employment was less than 2 years.  The most senior employee (after I left) had a grand total of 4 years. 
I only ever saw one employee give Asshat 2 weeks notice.  She left in tears a day and a half later.  After that, notice was never given.  You left your keys with a resignation letter on Asshat’s desk after hours.
Asshat also used the firm to hide assets (new yacht, for instance) from his four ex-wives. 
The happiest day I spent working there was when we found out Asshat had hemorrhoids. 


Elizabeth said...

Wow. What an asshat!

Grumpy Humbug said...

Yep. I wanted to call him "smug-self-important-bastard" but that takes too long to type.