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This is a humorous and sarcastic blog written by a paralegal in a mid-sized law firm in a mid-tier market. The goal is to share some of the pitfalls and foibles encountered in my own day-to-day experiences. Feel free to contact me at aparalegalslife@gmail.com with comments. Complaints, not so much :)

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Things Pissing Me Off Today

1. MS Word and it’s GD-MF-ing autocorrect features.  Why does it need to randomly change font and size?  Don’t “fix” the tabs.  Don’t randomly change justification from full to right then to centered.  Just let me put stuff where I want and stop being an overbearing mother.  (GAAAHHH!!!  NO!!!  Clippy has appeared!!!  I HATE CLIPPY!!!)

2. Partners who go into documents in MS Word and attempt to “fix” things themselves.  Just use a red pen and hard copy.  It will cause less problems and I won’t hate you nearly as much.  

3. Being dumped on before making it to my office.  You see me still wearing my jacket and carrying my briefcase, walking off the elevator?  These are the unmistakable signs that I JUST EFFING GOT HERE!!!  So no, I didn’t get those 5 e-mails you sent in the last 6 minutes.  Plus, you are standing between me and my morning coffee, quite possibly one of the 5 most dangerous places on Earth.  Grumpy minus post-morning-commute caffeine equals raging a-hole.

4. Tuesday.  Tuesday is just Monday light, because I’m usually still dealing with Monday’s problems.  I dislike Tuesdays.

5. Why is it the last week of March and I can still see my breath?  This is not right.  It’s supposed to be 60 degrees by now.  Winter, just go away already, you’re becoming that clingy stalker-like ex everyone hates.

6. It’s only and five things are already pissing me off.  (Great, now it’s six things…)

4 comments:

Elizabeth said...

I think the folks at MS word do it on purpose. "How can we piss people off?" is a top priority of theirs it seems. Also - when I am doing an outline I wante it I, then A, then 1 then a. Is this too much to ask? Why in some cases to you allow the A and then the next paragraph down all of a sudden you've gone numerical on me!? WHY!? I hate Wednesdays. Not close enough to Friday.

ps: I had to edit my comment to tell you my "captcha" word was "maced". That made me laugh.

Momalegal said...

I'm not a Word fan. I started off "in the good ol' days" with WordPerfect and still maintain that it is easier to use and does everything Word does without pissing me off on a regular basis. It was under great protest that I had to convert to Word. Bastards.

Brooklynn said...

I am currently a student who is studying to become a Paralegal and one of my classes was to research blogs that struck our interest to follow. I have to say my personality is on the same track as yours. I just took a BT120 class that was intro to MS Word. Can we say FRUSTRATION! I was miffed beyond belief so when I seen this, I reflected back to Winter Term. How are you suppose to get anything done when auto correct thinks that its smarter than the person typing what they NEED to type?! I guess that whole thing about being replaced by robots and technology might be closer than it seems. Just like Steve on Jepoardy and beats the human. I say lets go back to paper and pen!
And as for people "trying" to "fix" things...leave well enough ALONE. Maybe some white out on the computer screen of other co-workers would fix them ha ha! <---Twisted sense of humor.
I sure hope your week goes better and hope you don't mind that I follow and comment your blogs. Thanks

spacemonkeey said...

I hope that one day I get to be my own boss. The guy that you and me and the rest of the paralegals despise but just can't do anything about. It must be fabulous... and miserable at the same time. Okay, I retract that whole statement.