This is a humorous and sarcastic blog written by a paralegal in a mid-sized law firm in a mid-tier market. The goal is to share some of the pitfalls and foibles encountered in my own day-to-day experiences. Feel free to contact me at aparalegalslife@gmail.com with comments. Complaints, not so much :)

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Update: Post Non-Apocalypse Regrets

I waited an extra day to make sure.  Here are my initial reactions to the post-apocalypse let-down.

1.  I DID NOT GET TO KILL ZOMBIES!!!  Seriously.  I had shotguns, handguns, a broadsword and back-up machetes all lined up.  I even reviewed the on-line literature about zombies.  My time was wasted.  That alone makes me angry.

2.  WTF am I going to do with all the gas I stockpiled for my generator?  Seriously, my car gets 40 miles per gallon, so it'll take me forever to use this gas.  StaBil will only get me so far.

3.  Would I have been saved?  Personally I think God (if He exists) would save only those of us who see reality, and not those who pretend to think they see the world as they think God does.  Hubris.  (look it up)

4.  I still have to find the leak in my truck's engine.  Dammit.  I was hoping the Rapture would make that project moot. Now I actually have to take apart an 8-cylinder engine and put it back together.  Dammit.  Not a fun project. 

5.  I still have to work on The Money Pit. 

6.  Still have to take phone calls from my mother.

7.  Still have to take phone calls from my mother.  (YES, I know I said it twice.  It's worth two regret slots.  If you met my mother you would understand.)

8.  I must continue to work with lawyers. 

9.  I must continue to work with lawyers.  (See #7 if you aren't a Paralegal.)


Anonymous said...

Re #1:

How the hell am I going to bill all the time I spent on Friday looking up survival strategies?

Grumpy Humbug said...