This is a humorous and sarcastic blog written by a paralegal in a mid-sized law firm in a mid-tier market. The goal is to share some of the pitfalls and foibles encountered in my own day-to-day experiences. Feel free to contact me at aparalegalslife@gmail.com with comments. Complaints, not so much :)

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

More on the post-apocalyptic rapture

OK, based on the limited massive response, a tiny huge number of my 3 many followers have bought into believe the unfounded guesstimates truth that the apocalypse will happen never Saturday, May 21, 2011.

Based on this crap indisputable scientific evidence, I have decided on the following logical course of action total panic-induced hysteria:

1.  Loot Nordstroms.  Hey, if I have 5 months of Apocalypse to live through, and the world is ending anyway, why not rob them for decent threads?  If there's only a few months left I might as well look good.  And in my backwater hellhole, Nordstroms is the least bad option.

2.  Loot Costco.  Bulk bottled water.  Pallets of Spam.  I own a large pickup.  DO THE MATH.

3.  Best Buy.  Note the lack of a "Loot" prefix.  Pretty sure electronics retailers will keep making money as long as possible despite an apocalypse.  Since I won't be spending my retirement money anyway, why not there?  Stockpile DVD's and Wii games to occupy the spare time waiting for the end.

4.  Gun stores.  Need I ask?  Zombies.  Looters.  Cowboys fans.  My 5 foot long broadsword will only get me so far before the undead get a clue. 

5.  Gas Stations.  I already have a backup generator, so stockpiling gasoline and StaBil is important.  Plus it will power the lights that keep out the zombies.  Not to mention my plasma screen, HD player and Wii.

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