1. You cannot argue with crazy.
2. You cannot fix stupid.
3. Partners are always right. Especially when they aren't.
4. Talking to your plants will make people not want to talk to you.
5. The Acela is a better way to travel the east coast than an airplane.
6. Stress balls are the perfect object for throwing at a wall in frustration. They won't do much damage.
7. Lexis was invented by terrorists as a way of crippling our entire legal system.